Letter to Self - Listen With an Open Mind
- November 3, 2010
Dear Ron,
Now that I am well past my high school and college years, I can look back with a different perspective than I had when I was living through this time in my life. While I am fortunate to recall mostly fond memories of my teenage and young adult years, there this a significant “I wish I had done this differently” thought I can use as the basis for this reflective letter to myself.
I remember well-meaning adults in my life during high school and college who offered observations about what they saw as my strengths, areas where improvement was needed, or ideas about career fields which might be good for me to consider. While I would like to think that I participated in the conversations with these folks in a polite and respectful manner, I definitely did not spend much time giving their advice serious consideration. Hearing people tell me what they saw in me was not something I felt carried much weight. Never seeing myself as a leader; having been on the losing end of the few instances when I ran for a class office or an elected spot in a club; and hearing others tell me that they saw in me leadership potential did not match what I had actually experienced. Hearing adult friends tell me that they saw in me qualities they admired (when I saw only shyness and uneasiness in social situations) did not immediately create the more confident outlook that I would develop much later in life.
Since my life evolved in ways which lend credence to many of those observations and words of encouragement I had received, I can now see that my reluctance and close-mindedness was unfortunate. If I had somehow been able to take to heart some of what I was hearing, I might have come to the realization sooner that oftentimes, others see us better than we see ourselves.
Now, I am not advocating that we base all of our decisions on the observations of others, but giving careful and objective consideration to these insights might help us make decisions about what college to attend, what career to pursue, and which social and personal situations to maximize. That is the advice I am offering in this “letter to self.”
I do believe that oftentimes, others do know us better that we know ourselves, and others see in us qualities that we do not readily see.
Listening to these voices is a practice worth spending time on as a young person.
It is with the advantage of experience and many years beyond my youth that I offer these reflections and suggestions.
Sincerely,
Ron
Name: Ron Nicola
High School: Skyline High School (Oakland, Calif.)
College: California State University, East Bay (formerly CSU Hayward)
Now: Retired Livermore High School social science teacher and vice principal (37 years of service)
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This letter was written as part of the BetterGrads special series: “Write a Letter to Your High School Self.” Contributors are asked to answer questions or concerns they may have had in high school, such as “What’s the purpose of college?” and “Is it worth it?” BetterGrads is an organization focused on transforming college prep.